Just like leadership, humility have been misconstrued by lots of persons. Even the elites.
We think it is humble for us to relinquish authority or positions to people who can not handle it.
Or people who might be able to, but not as good as you would. Simply because they want to hold such power, and we think it is a noble thing to do.
I know this for a fact, because I have been in situations where I would gladly give up something so dear, in a bid to soothe someone's ego.
Even when I know I could do the job better than the said person. I had to let go.
I would often be "mild" about my dreams and passion, because I didn't want them to see me as over ambitious, overly zealous, and perhaps greedy.
I wanted to take what I can have. I wanted to stay in my "place". My "place". I can imagine God sitting on His throne shaking His head in disgust, when I was audacious enough to even think that.
Because I love the Lord so much, I thought it was a godly thing to do. It might as well make me more God fearing. I mean, I wasn't asking much, I just wanted to be "comfortable".
Being wealthy could probably lead me to sin. So let me just settle. Settle...I could literally taste the bitterness in that word.
I hid the gifts God gave me. I would only speak or write, if it is meant for just a small number of persons. And deprive the world of the wonderful gifts embedded in me.
How selfish. But then, I became better. I spoke to a larger audience. God must be proud of me right? I even had the privilege of speaking with pst Akomaye Ugar on the same podium, and he applauded me.
You see. God said to fly. So that's what I am doing. I will be just fine as long as I don't aim too high.
Aim at the roof top, so that when falling, you can fall at the tree top. . Some quotes are just to spur you up to action, as a beginner.
Not for high flyers. What happens to the sky? This continued till I met my mentor in my first year, during the freshers briefing. His mantra was,
Waohh, this guy needs to chill. Is he not just biting more than he can shew? Why is he so daring?
I tried catching that blazing fire, but always had my reservations. If I don't get it done, some one else will. I often told myself.
Then in my final year, I competed in a public speaking contest. You see, I hated competition. (Kinda still do, but I am getting better).
But I was the first person the organiser told, because he heard me speak at Calabar World Speech Day, and he was sure I would do better than anyone else he's ever heard. (I really need to borrow the kind of faith people have in me, sometimes).
But like the normal me, I wasn't even sure I would speak, till the day that precedes the big event. He was overjoyed. I had to ask if I was really going to win that money for me, or I will share it with him. A Baby girl needs to be sure.
I did emerge one of the best five, the second best actually. But a first year student won the prize. I was a second best. Oh, how I cried. Because, it opened my mind to how many times I gave up something of worth, because I felt someone else would do it if I don't.
It is infact selfishness, because the gift is not for you. It is supposed to be used to bless lives. The plan should be to die empty.
And did I tell you, she became proud, and implied she would coach me if I wanted? Serves me right.
Let us preach that to people. Teach them not to think less of themselves. But thinking of themselves less. It is not the same. Know when to speak, and when to listen.
If you must be humble, do not deny who you are. Be like Jesus. Tell them, thou have said so.
Imenka Lillian
Your Ready-writer
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